Vermilion
by Card1na15
Summary: This is an alternative take on the episode Crimson. What would've happened if Kal did what he should have and stayed in charge after the kiss?
1. Chapter 1

Vermilion

Chapter 1

"Don't marry Lex," Kal said, "marry _me."_

Lana pushed herself away from her leather-clad ex-boyfriend. She couldn't believe that Clark would choose _now, _of all times, to step up. "I have given you…every chance." Her voice, which had been quivering with emotion, broke as she started to cry. "I have stood in this spot, so many times, just waiting for you to say something, and you decide to do it _now?"_

Lana looked away from Clark for a second and took a breath as she regained her composure.

"You don't love me, Clark. You just can't stand the idea that I love someone else."

Kal brooded for a moment, but before Lana could begin to move father away from him, he said, "You really believe I don't love you? To Hell with what you _think_ you know. You seem to believe our relationship has been a one-way street, with you doing all of the giving and me doing all of the taking." Kal stepped as close to Lana as he had been when he kissed her. "It's time you learned differently."

Suddenly, from the barn entrance, Lex's voice rang out. "Lana? Lana?"

Before Lana could move, Kal rolled his eyes and said, "Uncle _Fester_. His timing gets better with age. Let me take care of this, I won't be gone more than a second."

Lana feared what Clark might do, but when she tried to reach out and grab him, all she touched was the breeze stirred by his passage. _What the hell? _Lana wondered. By the time she turned around to see where Clark had gone, he was standing behind her, holding an unconscious Lex in his arms.

"What have you done to him?!"

"Relax, Sweetcheeks, Lex is sleeping. I gave him a little slap on the forehead, and he passed right out. Works every time…just ask Pete." Kal set Lex down on the couch, surprising Lana with his gentleness. "Speaking of whom, did you invite_ him_ to your wedding? I mean, he's _got_ to be the only one of my close friends that hasn't been to any of the special social gatherings at Luthor Mansion this year.

"Though I suppose not. Pete _was _the one person who always hated Lex as much as I do now…I wish I had listened to him."

"I miss Pete," Lana said quietly.

"_Miss_ him?" Kal asked incredulously. "You barely even took the time to notice Pete was there. If he hadn't been my best friend in high school, you'd have never given Pete the time of day."

"That's not…"

"…_true?" _Kal picked Lana up and carried her toward the stairs. "Come on, Lana, you were Little Miss Popular. Varsity cheerleader and Homecoming Queen…both as a freshman. Neither one had ever happened in Smallville High history and yet you did _both. _Pete and I were just nobodies. You never would've gotten to know _me, _except you happened to be in the graveyard, without that damned green necklace on for once, the night I happened to learn my deepest secrets."

As they headed down the stairs, Lana looped her arms around Clark's neck. "Where are you taking me?"

"Someplace where that dress isn't warm enough…not by a long shot…so we're going back to the mansion so you can get dressed. And don't even _think _about calling for security, I'd hate to have to hurt any of those guys, they've always treated me nice."

Lana was torn. She had a duty to see that Lex was okay, but something was going on with Clark. This looked like an opportunity she might not get again. And anyway, Clark wasn't really giving her a choice.

"Okay, Clark," Lana said, "you win. I'll be good."

With that promise, Kal answered Lana's unvoiced question about how he had disappeared and reappeared with Lex's limp body in tow by speeding them to the mansion. Kal stopped outside just long enough for Lana to indicate where her bedroom was, and instantly, they were there.

"Clark? _How?"_

"Never mind how, for now anyway. Just get dressed as warmly as you can." When Lana indicated that she'd like some privacy while she changed, Kal pointed at her bedside phone as if to say, 'And leave you alone with a way to call for help?' His only concession to her modesty was to turn and face the door as she changed. While waiting for her to complete her change, Kal kept an eye out for security, looking through the walls to make sure no one approached.

Something in the wall caught Kal's attention, and he said, "Hey, Lana, did you know Lex is videotaping your bedroom?"

"No he's not, he had the camera removed months ago."

"Camera? Try camera_s."_

Once Lana was dressed, Kal used his x-ray vision and located a fiber optic camera in the ceiling light fixture, a standard camera in one wall, and two more cameras in the shower. He punched through the wall to show her the regular camera and yanked the fiber optic cable loose of its ceiling attachment.

Lana was horrified at Lex's betrayal of her, and yet, she was intrigued by the fact that Clark was putting on a show for her.

_How'd he see those? He's only been in here for ten minutes? I've been here for months and never noticed them. And that **strength**! Punching through that wall like it was nothing._

Kal checked Lana over carefully from head to toe and shook his head in amazement. _Her brain doesn't remember a thing, but her fashion sense does. _Lana was togged out in the same outfit she had worn the day he had originally taken her to the Fortress of Solitude. Kal couldn't help himself, he felt compelled to say, "Remember, you'll need a scarf and gloves."

Lana _did _remember _that,_ though. She looked up at Clark and asked, "Is this where you finally let me in on what you wanted to tell me last year?"

"I told you it's time you learned differently, Lana. You'll learn what I've sacrificed to give you every chance at happiness. A chance you pissed away by turning to Lex." Kal narrowed his eyes at Lana. "Here's a question of my own, Lana, though I don't expect an answer until I've had my say…when you went for Lex, was it originally done just to spite me for breaking up with you, was he a rebound gone wrong, or do you really think Lex cares about you?"

"Lex loves me."

"Lex loves Lex…and no one else." Kal tapped Lana's forehead with one finger. "Get that through your head right now."

Lana decided to leave that one alone for now, and moved back to her capacious closet to locate her warmest gloves and a thick, white scarf. "Okay, let's get this show on the road."

Once Kal picked Lana up, it was only a matter of seconds before they were standing in the Kawatche caves. He set her down and led her to the back of the cave network to a hidden room that she had never seen before…or so she thought.

When she said as much, Kal laughed and replied, "Maybe _you _haven't seen it, but that b!tch Isobel did, before I destroyed her spell book."

"Isobel was here?"

"Of course! This table is where the three Kryptonian stones of knowledge had to be united to unlock their secrets."

"And…did you?"

"Of course! Thanks to you and Chloe, I was able to get my hands on the last two stones the day of the second meteor shower. I came here to unite them, since I already had one stored in this table, but Lex kidnapped Chloe and the two of them followed me here."

Kal reached into his pocket and pulled out an octagonal metal disk.

"When I stuck the last stone into the table, they fused into one giant crystal and I was transported…elsewhere. Unfortunately, Chloe got too close and was brought along with me. I'd say the busybody got what she deserved, except I ended up having to tell her my secrets. I didn't _want_ to, but she already knew what I could do thanks to that psychob!tch, Alicia.

"But you're not here to hear about either of the blondes in my life who've had an obsession with me. You're here for the freak show." With that, Kal slipped the key into its slot on the table. A strong wind began whipping their hair around as a golden luminescence shot up out of the table. "The last time we were here like this, I asked you if you trusted me. Now, I don't give a rat's ass if you do. You're coming along whether you like it or not."

Once Clark wrapped Lana in his embrace, a softness and warmth that Lana found to be at odds with his hard-ass attitude, they were shot along a coruscating tube of bluish-white energy. In seconds, a thoroughly amazed Lana was taking her first look, for the second time, at the real Fortress of Solitude.

While Lana looked around in awe, delight, and not a little bit of fear, a bright green beam of light lanced out of a recess in the wall of the Fortress and enveloped Kal from head to toe. He slumped to the ground in agony, but the light had dissipated before Lana turned around to see what was the matter.

All she could see was that Clark was puddled on the ground, holding his head as if it was about to explode. Despite what had happened between them, she still loved him and it hurt her whenever he was in pain. _When he's cut, _Lana thought, _I bleed._ She stooped to help him, but Clark was already struggling to his feet.

Her eyes showed concern, but his eyes were filled with panic. No longer Kal, Clark remembered everything he had said and done since Lois kissed him. He was mortified by his behavior at the mansion, but what really had him going was the fact that he had just undone all of his sacrifices. His dad's death, giving up a life with Lana, everything…all for _nothing. _He was so angry at himself, he could just spit.

Lana saw Clark begin to withdraw from her, as his expansive personality of the past hour quickly faded away.

_Noooooooo! Not this time! _Lana thought frantically. _You're telling me everything!_

"I'm sorry, Lana," Clark said in a broken voice. "Sometimes I'm just not myself."

A rough-sounding male voice came from all sides at once. "No, Kal-El, you are _always_ yourself," the voice said. "The red Kryptonite merely releases the part of you that all of us strive to keep hidden. I thought your lady friend had seen enough of 'that side' and thus, I intervened."

"Jor-El?" Clark asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, my son."

_My son? _Lana wondered. _That's definitely not Jonathan Kent._

"I guess this _would _be a good time to make a formal introduction," Clark said, as he stood on still-wobbly legs. "Jor-El, I'd like for you to meet Lana Lang, the woman for whom I begged you to change time." Lana was still processing what she had just heard when Clark finished by saying, "Lana? I'd like you to meet Jor-El. He's the will and intelligence of my long-dead birth father."

"Oh crap!" was the last thing Lana said before she slumped toward the ground in a dead faint.

As Clark caught Lana's limp body, Jor-El asked, "When will you quit running from your destiny, my son?"

"Huh?"

"That young woman, Miss Lana Lang, is as much a part of your destiny as is saving this world, and right now, I think you are running harder from her than you are from saving the world."


	2. Chapter 2

Vermilion

Chapter 2

"My _destiny? _You helped keep us apart for years and now you claim Lana's part of my destiny?" _Unbe-freaking-lievable!_ Clark thought. "Besides, you know how much I _love_ having a 'destiny.' Destiny has always equaled 'no choice' in my book."

"Kal-El, I know how you react to the mere mention of you having a destiny. I think it's past time I explain just exactly how I am using that word. It may help clear up some of your anxieties."

"What about Lana? Is she okay?"

"Miss Lang lost consciousness briefly. I will keep her that way until I have said what you need to hear. No harm, whatsoever, will come to her."

Jor-El gathered his thoughts while Clark waited with poorly-concealed impatience, and Lana still cradled in his arms.

"Kal-El," Jor-El said, "when I refer to something as being 'your destiny,' I'm not referring to a pre-planned outcome that you have no choice about. Instead, I refer to something that is a natural choice, almost unavoidably so, for one of your talents, upbringing, and beliefs.

"You will end up choosing your 'destiny' to be the protector of this world, not because you _have_ to, but because the man raised by Martha and Jonathan Kent _needs_ to save people, and this will be saving people, taken to the Nth degree."

Clark tried to assimilate what he had just been told. "You mean…it's my destiny because it's the only choice I would really make, and not because I don't have a choice?"

"Precisely, my son."

"What about Lana? How is she 'my destiny?' It looks like two of us have to make choices there."

"With Miss Lang, things are more complicated."

"That's what _I_ always say," Clark interjected. "She's always hated it whenever I tell her that, and now I'm beginning to see why."

"I refer to her as being 'your destiny' because no matter what anyone, including me, has done to tear you two apart, you always seem to find your way back to each other."

Jor-El then shifted gears and spoke in a manner Clark had never heard before from the bodiless voice. He could _swear _that Jor-El was showing _compassion._ "As sure as day follows night, Kal-El loves Lana Lang. There is nothing you can do about it, _so stop trying, _it will only cause you both more unnecessary pain." With a voice that was now crackling with emotion, Jor-El finished quietly. "Please, Kal-El, take it from an old man who knows a few things about the subject of pain and loss."

Thinking quietly, and holding in his arms a woman who greatly resembled Louise McCallum, Clark got the point. "I know about Louise, Father. I know of your loss. I _felt_ your love and your pain. The way you felt about Louise is the way I feel about Lana, except…except I feel it_ more. _Lana and I had a lot longer together to deepen our love. She's my world, and I would do _anything _to save her."

"Anything but allow her to be herself, to make her own choices, to be the woman you fell in love with in the first place. You would gladly smother the love of your life in a misguided attempt at saving her." Clark could hear the disapproval in Jor-El's voice. "Some man you are."

"What do I do then?"

"Let her in. You'll come to find she is as much of a help to you, if not more, than you are to her…I guarantee it."

Even though Jor-El had no face to look at, Clark still looked down at his toes as if afraid to look his father in the eye.

"I…I'd like to ask a small favor."

His voice sounding non-committal, Jor-El asked, "What is your wish, Kal-El?"

"I would wish, if it's possible, for you to restore Lana's memories. I'd like it if she could know what happened during her lost day."

"Yes, it _is _possible…but no, I am not going to do it for you." Clark barely had time to jerk his face back up to eye level before Jor-El added, "As much as Miss Lang needs to know all about you, she needs, just as much, to hear it _from you._ From the man you are today, not the man you were a year ago. She's grown since then and has a different perspective on things than that Lana Lang. Those memories won't suffice now."

Clark looked down at Lana's peaceful form. Since the day he had broken up with her, he'd always looked at her and tried to see the ways in which she was still the same as he remembered. Now, he tried to make note of the changes.

"Besides," Jor-El said, "it is time for you to grow up. It is time to face her. Boys make excuses, men deal honestly with their mistakes. Only _you_ can make this right."

Clark contemplated the task his father had just set for him, and he shuddered.

"Bring her back, Father," Clark said. "I have a sneaking suspicion that this won't go nearly was well as the last time we had this conversation."

Clark swept a few stray strands of hair off of Lana's face as her eyelids began to flutter. "Wha…where… where am I?"

_In my arms, where you are supposed to be,_ Clark thought, as he said, "With me, in the real Fortress of Solitude." When Lana's eyes focused on his face, Clark added, "Dearest? We need to have a little talk."

"That sounds good," Lana said. "But how about you do the talking and I'll listen?"

"Mmm…I've got a feeling you'll be doing plenty of talking…and maybe a little bit of yelling, too."

"That bad, huh?" Lana noticed Clark's apprehension and said, "Just remember, there's nothing you can't fix if you want it bad enough."

Seeing Lana and hearing that hopeful statement, Clark knew he wanted it 'bad enough.' He wanted it more than he had wanted anything…_ever. _He only hoped that would be enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Vermilion

Chapter 3

"Jor-El?" Clark asked. "Could you make it a bit warmer in here, for Lana's sake? Maybe raise the air temperature up to just below freezing or something? Even with as warmly as she's dressed, she'll still need all the help she can get to make it through this story."

"As you desire, my son."

Clark and Lana could feel the temperature rise quickly, making it a much more comfortable place for Lana to be.

"So how do you want to do this, Lana?"

"Do what?"

"I can keep holding you in my arms all day long, but you didn't even want to be wrapped in my arms in the loft, so I'm guessing that idea's out.

"You can stand…but this is going to be a long story, so you might prefer to sit. The only thing is, sitting on one of these crystal ledges will freeze your butt in no time."

"Well, in the loft," Lana replied, "you were this…this _overaggressive_ person I hardly recognized. You scared me, and you hurt me with that 'oh so romantic' proposal. But now, you're Clark again. The same handsome, confusing, and sometimes truly irritating guy I've always known. I think I'd be okay with you holding me if you have to, but for right now, I can stand."

As Clark eased Lana to a standing position, he was wondering how to go about telling his story _this_ time. Last time had been easy, relatively speaking. He had told Lana about his powers in the barn, and had even included a brief demonstration, before bringing her here for the _big_ secret. Lana had been confused, understandably so, and then Clark had increased her confusion by adding a marriage proposal on top of his story.

At the time, Clark had thought the proposal was a mistake. He'd originally planned to see how Lana reacted to the revelation that he was an alien _before _popping the question, but he panicked. Still, it had all worked out in the end…until the car wreck anyway.

Now, they were in a much worse place in their relationship. Lana was on the verge of making a mistake that would end their friendship and change her life in ways she couldn't even imagine, and Clark felt powerless to stop her.

"I guess I should start at the beginning…and for us, the beginning is the first day of kindergarten. I can still remember walking up the sidewalk with Pete and seeing you as Nell led you into the school. Up until then, girls were just boys with long hair who occasionally wore dresses. That was the day things changed. From then on, girls were _different._ I wasn't sure what the difference was, but I knew I liked it. More importantly, from that moment on, I liked _you._

"Anyway, once I got close to you, I tripped and fell. Everyone was laughing at the clumsy big kid except for you. You turned to me as Nell led you past…and you just _smiled_ at me. Over the years, I tripped a lot around you and never once did you laugh at me. You always smiled, tried to make conversation, and helped me pick up whatever I had dropped."

"Clark, you know I love this story," Lana said. "I loved it the first time you told it to me back when we were dating and I love it now, but…how relevant is it to what's going on between us right now?"

"The relevance of this story right now is that _this_ time, you're going to get the whole story, with nothing left out or glossed over." Clark stood and watched Lana as she slowly made her way around the Fortress. Somehow the Fortress looked warmer and more inviting with her in it. "What I've never told you before is why I always fell to pieces in your presence." Lana stopped and turned to face Clark. "It was that meteor rock necklace of yours. You wore it _everywhere,_ and I'm deathly allergic to the stuff. Even a brief exposure can incapacitate me. A large enough exposure would likely kill me."

In her mind, Lana heard something from her past. _Their home is their only poison, _Lionel had said. _I remember the way the two aliens reacted to the stuff when they stepped into Lex's vault, and they had been looking for someone, a person name Kalel, or was that Kal-El? Clark's __**father, **__this Jor-El character, specifically called him Kal-El. The last thing I remember from that day in the mansion is being slammed into the wall, and then I woke up in the hospital. The nurses said Clark had brought me in._

Clark could see Lana was deep in thought, so he stopped talking while she continued to make the necessary mental connections.

_Their home is their poison…Clark is allergic to green meteor rocks. The aliens were looking for Kal-El…Jor-El called Clark Kal-El. The aliens had super powers like meteor freaks on steroids…yet it seems that Clark defeated both of them. _Lana felt like slapping herself on the forehead. _D'oh! How obvious do things have to become before I recognize them? Clark Kent is an alien, just like they were!_

After that realization, a lot of things fell into place for Lana. She knew he had been adopted by the Kents just after the first meteor shower. Now she knew an old theory of hers had been right. _I guess someone __**did**__ come to Earth in the first meteor shower, someone who has been living among us all this time. _Lana walked up to Clark, stopping an arm's length away and peered up at him. _He doesn't look any different than a human. Those two aliens from the ship used their powers indiscriminately, but Clark has worked hard to hide his abilities. I know, or else I would've known about them by now._

Unable to help herself, Lana stepped closer to Clark and raised a hand to stroke her fingertips lightly along his cheek. Clark felt his eyes flutter closed as his head leaned into the caress. He thought he could stand there forever basking in her touch. It seemed to him like it had been _such_ a long time since she had willingly made this kind of intimate gesture.

"You look just like us," Lana said. "You _feel_ just like us. And yet, you're so different."

Then Lana's thoughts progressed, and she withdrew her hand.

"Why couldn't you just tell me the truth? I would've understood."

"Are you sure?" Clark replied. "Can you guarantee that a fifteen-year-old high school freshman would've understood me, or even _believed _me, if I had told her my heritage?"

Lana had the grace to look embarrassed. She knew full well that the innocent girl she had been back then wouldn't have been able to wrap her head around an idea like this…at least, not without some pretty convincing evidence. That had all changed with the 'over the rainbow' trip that she had experienced in the tornado. Before that day, she thought Clark Kent was an incredibly kind, smart, and handsome guy that she was sure she was falling in love with.

After that day, he was all that and more.

"After the tornado, Clark, you could've told me and I would've believed you, so why didn't you? Was I too untrustworthy?"

"No. Me not telling you was _never _about trust. I always knew you'd keep my secrets, but until the end of our junior year, I was afraid I'd lose you if I told you. The thought of you looking at me like I was some kind of _freak_ was more than I could bear, so I kept everything locked inside of me.

"Just before you left for Paris, I decided I was losing you anyway, so I invited you over to the loft for dinner. I was going to tell you everything, but then Emily, Pete, and the F.B.I. stepped in and stopped me."

Lana tilted her head to one side and pursed her lips for a second before she said, "Now that you mention it, I remember the whole business about being kidnapped by Emily…but what did Pete and the F.B.I. have to do with anything?"

Clark lowered his head, sure of how well Lana would take what he had to say next. Looking at her from under his lowered brows, Clark said, "I told Pete my secrets at the beginning of our sophomore year." When Lana started to say something, Clark cut her off with an upraised hand. "I know, I know, you're mad I told him and not you. Well…I never would have told Pete anything, except he found my spaceship in the middle of a cornfield soon after the tornado. Things happened between us then that would have meant the end of our friendship if I hadn't come clean, and since Pete was my only real friend, I had to tell him. I couldn't afford to lose Pete.

"Anyway, an F.B.I. agent had somehow learned that I had a secret worth knowing and he tried to pry the information out of Pete. Lex showed up at the last minute and saved him, otherwise Pete would likely be dead right now." Clark finally raised his head and looked Lana squarely in the eyes. "That wasn't the first time Pete had nearly lost his life because of my secrets, but this was one time more than Pete could take. He told me he needed to move to Wichita with his mom so he could stay safe."

"So when I finally showed up to talk to you," Lana said, "you had decided to not tell me because you were unwilling to put me in that kind of danger."

"Exactly. You understand."

"I'm so sorry, Clark," Lana said soothingly. "You take so much upon yourself, and you never complain and you never reveal the cost of bearing your burdens. You were only thinking of me…and I left you."

"Even with all of that, I came to the airport to stop you from going. I was mad at myself for missing out on being your chauffeur, but I was crushed when I saw you and Lex locked in a curbside embrace."

"That was you? The white rose was yours?" _I knew it!_

"Yeah. Kinda pathetic, I know, but it was all I could find from any of the airport vendors." Clark turned away from Lana and began to pace. "Lex had already asked me to step aside, and he was referring to you and our relationship. I had long suspected it, but that was my first concrete evidence that Lex wanted you for himself. Or maybe he just wanted you because I had you. In any case, seeing you two in a clinch like that just killed me, so I left."

Lana found the idea that Lex had wanted her way back then hard to credit, except for the fact that Clark was telling her straight out and he obviously wasn't lying. That put all of his touches and his close, personal support in a whole new light. _Jeez, I wasn't even eighteen, and Lex was wanting me already._

"There's one other thing about that day that you might want to know."

"Yes?"

"The reason _why_ I was late. You see, Lionel had a key messengered to me while he was in prison awaiting trial. I went to see him, he told me it was for a special room in the mansion. A room he thought I'd like to see."

Lana was intrigued. "What was in that room?"

"Me."

"You?"

"Yeah. It was the room where Lex kept his secret shrine of all things Clark Kent. He was collecting information about me, and had been ever since he hit me with his Porsche and drove off that bridge freshman year."

"He…_hit_ you?"

"Yeah, at sixty miles an hour."

"How are you still walking? Heck, how are you still _alive?"_

"That's what I wondered at the time…and my dad provided the answer a day later. That was the day I learned I was an alien. It was also the day we met in the graveyard."

"Oh…so _that's_ what you were so upset about. I remember teasing you about being upset over a guy, but you never did say what had you so worked up. I guess I can see why."

"I'm glad he waited though or else I never would have met you that night, and we might never have become close." Clark breathed deeply as Lana waited for him to continue. "Even with all we've been through, both as a couple and individually, I would never want to change the fact that we met and became close. It would feel like I had lost the best part of me."

"Why would you ever want to change something? There may be things in our lives we regret doing, but we deal with it and move on."

"I can think of something I wanted to go back in time and change, Lana. Something I would have given my _life_ to fix."

Concerned, Lana asked, "What?"

"I had to erase both my proposal and our engagement, to stop your death."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Your proposal, our engagement, and my…_death?" _Lana asked slowly, almost cautiously.

"Yeah." Clark stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You obviously remember the day I had you meet me in the loft, since you're dressed exactly the same way today."

"Yeah, I wore this on purpose," Lana said, as she gestured at her outfit. "The last time I dressed this way, you were supposed to tell me something, maybe even give me answers to some long-held questions. Instead, you chickened out…_again._ I was hoping that in this case, the _second_ time would be the charm."

Clark saw that she had given him a perfect opening, and he took it.

"Actually, this is the _third _time and I guarantee you that it will be 'the charm.'" Before Lana could muster a protest, Clark pushed on. "The second time, I did as you said. I was scared, scared for _your_ life I might add, and took the easy way out. The first time you dressed for me that way…was magical. I told you _everything." _Clark got a dreamy look in his eyes as he remembered back to his last truly happy day. "You don't remember it, however, because for you, it never happened."

"What happened? Did you erase my memories somehow?"

"No," Clark replied glumly. "I erased _everyone's_ memories." He relived that day in his mind and winced at the memories, both sweet and bitter, unsure of which set were more painful. "Only I remember that day now."

"But how…"

"…is unimportant right now. My alter-ego promised that you'd learn about what I sacrificed for you to bring you back to life and to keep you safe once you were back. That's one promise I intend to keep."

"Oh…so _now_ you start keeping your promises to me. You're a little bit late, don'tcha think?"

Lana had tried to make her comment come out sounding droll, but Clark knew her well enough to hear the remnants of old pain in her voice, an unnecessary reminder of his many failures as a boyfriend.

"Yeah, I'm more than a little bit late when it comes to treating you the way you deserve. I realize that and I apologize." Clark chuckled softly and Lana wanted to know what he had to laugh about. "My father, Jor-El, _did _say it was time for me to start growing up."

"Really?" Lana asked in surprise. "I have to say I agree with him, Clark. I've been waiting for you to grow up for years."

"Yeah, I know you have, but you don't know the whole story. You don't know why things happened the way they did. I hope what I have to tell you will help you connect the dots so you can see the big picture. Maybe then I won't look quite so bad." Clark started to pace back and forth just a bit. "Anyway, the _first_ time you came out to meet me in the loft dressed like this, I was scared out of my mind. It was so bad, that my heart was beating like a drum machine and you noticed it. Before we left the loft that day, I showed you everything I can do, all of my special abilities."

"How many are there?"

"A lot," Clark said as he shrugged his shoulders. "Super-strength, super-speed, super-hearing, physical invulnerability to anything except meteor rocks, heat vision, and two kinds of x-ray vision."

Unlike when Chloe learned about the x-ray vision, Lana didn't reflexively cover her chest. _In the first place, _Lana thought, _this Clark's too much of a gentleman to take advantage of me like that, and besides, he's already seen everything anyway_.

"I'd turn this into the biggest show-and-tell in the world and give you a proper demonstration, but we need to save that for later, right now I need to tell you this story quickly so we can get back to Smallville…besides, you've already seen examples of most of my abilities already today."

"Why?" Lana asked. "I've got all of the time in the world for _this."_

"Yeah, but by now, Lex has woken up in the loft. He's probably got all of his security men scouring Lowell County to find where I've taken you…then there's the likelihood that he's also filed kidnapping charges with the Sheriff. So we need to go back long enough for you to make an appearance and calm everyone down. Hopefully, you'll be forgiving enough to not send me to jail."

"You'd just break out…" A random memory surfaced, and Lana continued, "…like you did that one time to save Lex from Desiree Atkins…and the _fires…_heat vision…forget any demonstration of that ability, Clark. I believe I watched you incinerate the Talon's original cappuccino machine."

Clark smiled genuinely for the first time in a while as he said, "Well, it was _your_ fault."

"Mine?"

"Yeah, there we were, all alone in the Talon just having come from Lex's wedding and you were standing next to me looking more like some college-aged goddess than a high school sophomore." Clark swallowed hard when he remembered the way she had looked that night with her hair in big, loose curls tumbling down over her shoulders and onto the top of her sea-foam green dress. She had looked so far out of his league that night, and yet there they had been, side-by-side. "We exchanged thoughts on the weirdness of Lex getting married that quickly and then you said something about how Lex was able to act on his passion and you wondered if _we _would ever be able to do that."

"I seem to vaguely remember something like that," Lana said.

"Well, I took what you said to mean me and you acting on our shared passion instead of us each acting on separate, individual passions. That got my hormones boiling and I started to heat up. Before you could get me out of the Talon, beams of tightly focused heat shot out of my eyes and set the Talon on fire."

"So your heat vision has a hormonal trigger?" Lana asked, as she tried mightily to keep from snickering at Clark.

"Yeah, it does." Clark was righteously embarrassed and turned away from Lana to recover. When he turned back to her, he said, "I have complete control over it now after burning down a number of scarecrows and other farm items. But from that day on, there's only been one word that I've used to trigger that ability, one word that contains all that I think passion should be." Clark turned back to face Lana. "That word is 'Lana.'"

Now it was Lana's turn to blush, but she kept her eyes locked on his. Wordlessly, they drank in the lines and curves of each other's face. What they were thinking helped Lana keep her blush and returned a full, rosy blush to Clark's cheeks.

Clark finally shook himself out of it, and said, "Well, I got sidetracked there for a moment. I'd better get back to the story I'm _supposed_ to be telling. Where were we, anyway?"

"Abilities, Clark. You were telling me about how, you supposedly showed me all of your abilities in the loft."

"_Supposedly?"_

"You gotta admit, Clark, this is going to be a pretty tough story for me to swallow."

"Just wait. Sometime soon, I'll have someone we both trust tell you a corroborating story." Still seeing a bit of skepticism in Lana's eyes, Clark plowed ahead with his story. "Next, I took you to the caves and brought you here. This is where I told you about being an alien, about being from a planet called Krypton."

"How did I react?"

"Much the same way you did now…but then, I did something else. I scooped you into my arms and carried you to a small outcropping of crystal up near the top of the Fortress. That's where I proposed marriage to you. I knew instantly that I should have given you enough time to process my revelations about my abilities and origin before hitting you with a marriage proposal, so I asked you to wait to tell me your answer.

"You were quiet the whole way home, seemingly lost in your thoughts." A warm smile, the kind that always melted Lana's heart, slowly made its way across Clark's face as he thought about what came next. "The next time I saw you, I was getting ready to go to the Talon for my Dad's election party. We were supposed to meet there, but you decided to come out to the farm where we would be alone. You had made your decision.

"I was scared out of my mind that you'd reject me. That was my oldest reason for not telling you my secrets. I asked you if I looked any different to you and you replied that I looked like the same handsome guy you'd always known. Unsure of what that meant, I wanted things to be made more clear and asked if that meant you were saying yes or if you were letting me down easy.

"You said, and I quote, 'As in, yes, Clark, I will marry you.'" Clark stopped for a moment, both to take a deep breath and to savor the memory. "That was, without a single doubt, the happiest moment of my life. You pulled the engagement ring out of your pocket and I slipped it on. Soon after, we were at the election party."

Lana watched as the mere mention of the election party made all of the color drain from Clark's face. _Why does this not feel like a happy story all of a sudden? _Lana wondered.

"What happened at the election rally?" Lana asked.

"You and I were arm-in-arm, showing off your ring and collecting congratulations from everyone, including my parents once they showed up. They were both thrilled to have you joining our family. That moment with my folks was the realization of almost every dream I had ever had."

"It sounds wonderful, Clark. I wish I could remember it."

"You _could, _except Jor-El insists I tell this to you myself. He seems to think it's part of the maturation process or something…or maybe he just wants to punish me, I don't know. Anyway, once Dad was announced as the election winner, Lois dragged the three of us off to have a photo op."

"I'm sure I looked on closely," Lana said warmly, "watching the family I was about to join."

"Actually, no. Somewhere in there, you got a call from Lex and you went to see him at the mansion. Something happened there and you left the mansion with Lex in hot pursuit. You called me on your cell phone while driving and said that Lex had figured out that I had to have told you my secrets. I could hear the roar of Lex's car as it pulled up beside you and then I heard you scream, followed by the crunch of metal and the shattering of glass.

"I don't mind telling you I flat-out panicked. I super-sped to the scene of the accident, desperate to save you, but even with all of my abilities, I was too late. Your broken body was sprawled in the middle of the road, blood everywhere, and you were dead. The best day of my life had just become the worst. I was hysterical, absolutely inconsolable, but Dad tried. He pulled me off of you and held me as I cried and then raged.

"If Lex had said anything to me at that moment, I would have killed him without a second thought. But I wasn't thinking about him at the time. All I could think about was you and how desperately I wanted to bring you back from the dead. I already knew, that to reach that goal, I'd willingly sacrifice _anything. _I just wish I had known how much 'anything' was gonna cost."

Lana finally believed what Clark was saying. More than anything, it was the panic, the desperation, the unalloyed _pain_ in his voice as he told his story that did the trick. She didn't know how, but Clark had _lived_ the events he had just described. For the first time since Clark had pulled her away from her engagement dinner, Lana willingly went to Clark's side, wanting to console him, but unsure of how to do it.

In the end, she did the only thing necessary, she wrapped her slender arms as far around his chest as possible and held on tight as she repeated softly, "I believe you, Clark."

All she wanted was to let him know she was there for him, but her close presence and emotional support did more: it helped blunt the edge of his remembered anguish, making it somewhat tolerable and allowing him to go on.

"You know most of what happened next," Clark said. "You had to suffer for my mistakes…but at least you lived."

Not sure she really wanted the answer, Lana asked, "What does that mean?"

"The first day, the day you died, my dad lived. He stopped on his way home to wrestle me away from your body. He didn't have a heart attack that night, he survived.

"But when I saved you the second time around by stopping that God-forsaken school bus…"

"That was _you?"_

"Yeah, who'd you think it was…the School Bus Fairy?"

"I _thought_ that bus stopped miraculously quickly."

Clark was okay now, but for some reason Lana couldn't place, she was loathe to let him go. Instead, she rested the side of her face against the broad expanse of Clark's chest and relaxed her hold on him. Clark responded by enfolding her in his arms. He'd been aching to do it since she first hugged him, but her relaxing into him was the first sign he'd been given that allowed him to proceed.

In a slower, softer voice, Clark continued, "…when I stopped that bus, Dad didn't stop since there was no wreck. He drove home and had his fatal heart attack in the barn. He must have been meeting someone since he left his own election party early, and without Mom, but I'm not sure who it was, though I do have my suspicions." Clark didn't know exactly how to finish telling Lana that her life had been bought with the coin of Jonathan's life, but he felt he had to. If she really wanted to know everything, she had to know the bad stuff as well as the good. "I ended up saving your life at the cost of my father's, all to keep you safe from Lex. A sacrifice you nullified by entering a relationship with Lex."

Lana could hear the loathing in Clark's voice, a tone of voice she had hoped to never hear him direct at her. If what he said was true about losing his dad to save her was true, she could understand his feelings, but she didn't see how his dad's death was caused by him saving her life miles away.

When she said as much, Clark's only reply was to say, "It did happen that way, Lana, and it all dates back to the day of the second meteor shower, when I saved you from the two aliens that were looking for Kal-El…but that's a story for later. Right now, we need to go back to Smallville, let the authorities know you're okay, and get you fed. I imagine you also need some sleep."

"I'll admit to being hungry, but sleep can wait, I've been waiting six _years_ for this conversation."

"Okay, Lana, have it your way…your slightest wish is my command."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Clark brought Lana back to the caves and then picked her up and headed for the sheriff's office. He couldn't speed her right to the sheriff's front door without a security camera spotting them suddenly appear out of nowhere, and if they just walked there once in town, they would risk being spotted by Lex's men, so Clark had to compromise. He zipped into town with Lana in his arms, stopping in some deep shadows not too far from the sheriff's office.

Clark set Lana down and took a few steps away from her as he checked their immediate vicinity for any of Lex's goons. "Stay here, Lana. Let me scout ahead to see if Lex stationed anyone around the sheriff's office. The _last_ thing we want is to have them see us right now."

"Okay, Clark, I'll stay here and wait. I trust you."

The simple faith expressed in that statement made Clark do a double take. In an absolute deadpan manner, he said, "You trust me. Me, the guy that's lied to you about himself for _years."_

"Yes, _you," _Lana said as she stepped in close. "The man who sacrificed his own happiness for me. The man who was willing to have me think the worst about him if only I'd stay alive. The man who has trusted me with his very life by telling me his deepest secrets…yeah, I think I can trust you."

_She trusts me, _Clark thought. The very idea seemed ridiculous after everything that had happened between them since his death, but the reality of it warmed his heart like nothing else could. _Maybe we have a shot after all._

Clark spent the next minute zipping all over the area surrounding the sheriff's office, making sure the coast was clear before allowing Lana to walk the last one-hundred yards to the sheriff's front door. Clark's fears of a Luthor security presence went unrealized and he sent Lana into the office.

"Hi," Lana said brightly to the deputy behind the desk. "I'm Lana Lang, and I just heard you folks may be looking for me."

Besides the deputy watching the jail cells, Sergeant Tom Brooks was the only Sheriff's deputy left in the station. Everyone else was out searching for the stunning young woman that had just walked in the front door. The sergeant slid his rolling office chair over to the dispatch station and signaled to the sheriff that Miss Lang had just walked in the front door unharmed.

The sheriff was just about to convert the search for Lana into a manhunt for Clark when Lana piped up and said, "Umm…I wasn't kidnapped. I'll admit that I left the dining room at Luthor Mansion unwillingly, but Clark convinced me to come with him, so there's nothing to worry about there."

When that information was relayed to the sheriff, the search was ended once the deputy was able to convince the sheriff that he was indeed looking at, and talking to, Lana Lang.

Lex had somehow gotten a radio on the sheriff's department's private frequency and he burst in at that moment, screaming that Lana was to be taken into custody until he could make it to the sheriff's office.

The sheriff's eyes rolled before saying, "Mr. Luthor, it appears that you have wasted enough of my resources this evening already. Miss Lang is alive and unharmed as you will be able to ascertain by watching the footage from our security cameras when you make it to the station. What you will _not _be able to do is have us arrest a woman that has done nothing wrong…and if you persist in using this frequency, which is limited to official use only, I'll have _you_ arrested. Got it?"

Frustrated beyond endurance, Lex screamed, "You can't do this to me, I'm Lex Luthor."

"Get over yourself, Boy, it's already been done."

Lana hadn't waited for the end of that exchange; as soon as she heard that Lex and/or his people were on their way to get her, she scurried out the door and back to where Clark was waiting for her.

"All done?" he asked.

"Yeah, the sheriff called off the search. It should be safe for you when we come back."

Clark beamed at Lana. "Thanks. Now, before we go back, you need to be fed, so I'm taking you out for some Chinese."

In minutes, Clark had them at an out-of-the-way Metropolis restaurant that Chloe swore up and down had the best Chinese food this side of Shanghai. Lana had just come back to their booth after straightening her appearance in the bathroom, when Chloe hustled in to join them. Lana raised her eyebrows at Clark quickly before warmly greeting Chloe.

After everyone had exchanged greetings and had ordered their meals, Clark said, "I asked Chloe to join us here so she could tell you a few more things about Lex, things you don't know yet but should, while we eat."

"I'm so glad to see Clark's decided to tell you everything…_again_," Chloe said. "Let's see if we can make it stick this time."

"We'd better," Clark replied grimly, "I've run out of do-overs. Besides, I've proven I don't handle those very well."

First, Chloe explained how it came to be that she knew Clark's secrets. When she made it clear that Lana was the only person Clark had voluntarily told his secrets to, and he had done it twice, Lana smiled. It made her feel special to know others had learned his secrets through happenstance, but she had been singled out for his special trust.

Between bites, Chloe spent the next forty-five minutes explaining various schemes that Lex was involved in over the years, things they hadn't been able to tell Lana about without making her wonder about Clark's secrets. By the time Clark paid the check and they were about to leave, Lana was angry. Her anger wasn't a volcanic, over-the-top anger like you'd expect from Lex. Her anger was cold and focused. Her only problem was, she couldn't decide who she was more angry with, Lex for being such a two-faced liar, or herself for falling for the lies.

As she and Clark waved goodbye to Chloe, who had to get back to the Planet, Lana thought, _Still, we have a baby together. We will always have that connection, no matter how much I might wish otherwise. Oh why can't this baby be Clark's?_

"Ready?" Clark asked.

Lana's answer was to jump into the air, showing her complete trust in Clark as she forced him to catch her before they sped off. Once again back at the Fortress, Clark was suddenly at a loss about what to do next. He had _intended _to tell Lana all about losing his powers, his death, his subsequent resurrection, and the terrible price someone would have to pay on his behalf. He knew he would tell her all of that eventually, but it suddenly didn't seem so important for her to know all of that right now.

He now had a powerful need to tell her something else she might want to know, something she might want to hear from Clark Kent instead of Kal-El. In the last few hours, Clark had poured out a good part of his story to Lana…now it was time for him to pour out his heart. He paced back and forth as he tried to collect his thoughts.

To Lana's eyes Clark was more agitated than he'd been at any time since his Clark persona had regained control. She reached a hand out and rested it on his forearm. Like magic, her touch seemed to draw off his excess nervous energy, allowing his feet to come to a stop, and his mouth to start. Clark turned to face Lana. Her hazel eyes searched his jade green ones as she tried to puzzle out what he wanted to say next.

"I am so sorry, Lana, for many things, but foremost on that list of regrets is the fact that I lied to you last year when I said I didn't love you anymore. I know how much you hate lies, and that's the biggest one I've ever told."

"Why'd you lie, Clark?" Lana asked, "I was _devastated _when you said that" Just thinking about that night brought Lana to the verge of tears.

"After I had decided to keep my secrets from you when I changed time to save your life, I expected you to break it off with me. I figured once you did that, you'd finally be able to move on with your life, and find a guy who could make you happy. I could've found it within me to be happy for you if you had chosen _any _man other than Lex.

"My problem was that you held onto me, and onto _us,_ with great determination. Though you were more and more upset with me, you still believed in us even though I kept hurting you. You can't _know_ what that kind of constancy meant to me.

"Anyway, when that deal with that hypnotist girl Simone happened, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand the fact that I always seemed to find new ways to hurt you…so I decided, if you wouldn't break up with me, I'd have to break up with you." Clark didn't want to admit what was coming next. "I…I wanted you to hate me so you could finally move on with your life."

"You can't make me stop loving you, Clark. Only _I_ can do that...and I haven't done that yet," Lana said softly. Then, adding considerable heat to her voice, she added, "What you did was just...just...STUPID. It was the crown jewel of your ways to hurt me."

"Yeah, you're right," Clark said. "There's no defense for what I did. Sorry seems such an inadequate word for what I feel right now, but it's all I've got. I feel like such a heel for what I did to you that night. It was the hardest thing I've ever done and it was done with the best of intentions, but it was still wrong." Clark knelt in front of Lana on the hard surface of the Fortress. "So I'm here now to beg for your mercy and forgiveness. I deserve neither, but only you can heal the wound in my heart."

_How ironic that Clark would use those words, _Lana thought, _since he's the only one that can heal my heart. His heartfelt apology is a good start, but I need to hear more. Still, now that's he's taken the first step, the next one is mine._

"You're right, Clark," Lana said quietly. "You _don't_ deserve my mercy and forgiveness." Then, through her unshed tears, came a tremulous smile. "But you have them anyway. I forgive you."

Clark rocked back on his heels as a look of bliss overtook his face. To know he hadn't irrevocably ruined everything lifted a massive weight off of his shoulders, a weight of which he hadn't even been aware.

Lana watched silently, pleased that she had been the cause of such happiness for Clark. But still, one thought lingered in her mind: _Who's going to lift __**my**__ spirits? I need it just as much as he does, and I admit that right now I can't do it myself._

Clark made it to his feet, reached out, and took Lana's hands tentatively in his. When she didn't resist him, he used his thumbs to lightly rub the backs of her hands.

"What you don't know, Lana, is what I've done since you've been gone. I've spent countless hours alone in the loft, bouncing a rubber ball as I thought about what I had driven away. In a futile attempt at staying close to you, I did just about anything I could that reminded me of you. I read Russian classics by Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Nabokov, and others."

Curious now, Lana asked, "Which book did you like the best?"

"Mmm…I liked Tolstoy's _War and Peace, _his _Anna Karenina, _and Dostoevsky's _The Brothers Karamazov_ the best."

"Good choices…what else did you do?"

"I watched horse shows on TV, and once, I even went to see a ballet in Metropolis."

Shocked, Lana asked, "_You_ went to see a ballet? No way."

"Yes way. I went to see the Metropolis Ballet Company's production of The Nutcracker last December."

"Did you like it?"

Clark hesitated before telling the truth. "No, I hated it. I ended up leaving halfway through."

"_That _sounds more like my Clark."

Lana was smiling to know that Clark had been so in love with her that he had thrown himself into her type of activities. Clark was smiling because Lana had called him 'my Clark.'

"And then, when my spirits reached their depths, I went back to try something I already knew I didn't like, just to be a bit closer to you."

"And that was…?"

"Poetry. I read poets by the hundreds. Poetry about love, about loneliness, about suffering, I read every poet I could get my hands on. Anything that might give me an insight into you."

"Did you like any of it?"

"Mmm…I can say I developed an appreciation for it, though I didn't truly like too much of it." Then, putting his memory to good use, Clark said, "I did like this one though:

William Shakespeare - Sonnet #18

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?  
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:  
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,  
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:  
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,  
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;   
And every fair from fair sometime declines,  
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;  
But thy eternal summer shall not fade  
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;  
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,  
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:  
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,  
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." 

Lana was stunned to hear Clark quoting _any_ poetry, much less one of Shakespeare's love sonnets.

"That made me think of you, Lana," Clark said. "I could see every detail of your face as I read those lines. It was as though it was written for me to speak to you." Clark paused before continuing. "Being without you has been like missing the better half of me. I've missed our friendship, that close-knit bond we had back before I died. We may not be able to get back to exactly where we were since we're two different people now, but I want that kind of connection again…and I want it with you." Clark made sure his eyes were locked with Lana's. "I love you, Lana Lang. I always have and I always will."

"I love you too, Clark. Never doubt that."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After discovering they still _loved_ each other, Clark and Lana stood there, unsure of what came next for them. Their eyes were still locked, but no words were spoken.

Clark finally managed to say, "There are other things I need to tell you."

"More?" Lana said, with a lopsided smile. "I'd think you've just about exhausted your store of Ripley's Believe It or Not information."

"Not even close."

Lana was curious about what else he might have to tell her, but she had different priorities.

"Clark? I'm sure there are a million things you want to tell me, but right now there is only one thing I _need_ to hear." She didn't want to mention this, but if he couldn't handle it, she needed to know now. "I'm pregnant, with _Lex's _baby. Are you going to be able to help me raise this baby? Can you love it with all of your heart? If my being pregnant is still going to make a difference to you, then I don't know that we have a future together."

Clark chose his next words very carefully. "I admit to having been crushed the day I learned you were pregnant. I had come rushing out to the mansion to talk to you, determined to make things right between us. Instead of talking to you, Lex came out and told me about the baby. I know you, Lana. I know how cautious you've always been when it came to having sex, so I figured if you had taken that step with Lex, he must mean more to you than I thought…or maybe I was that I worried I meant _less_ to you than I thought.

"I never had a real problem with the baby. It was just a target of opportunity, something to vent my anger and hurt on." Clark reached out tentatively and took Lana's hands. "But now that we've cleared up the things between us, I can say with perfect conviction that any child of yours, is a child of mine." Clark's eyes were filled with love as he said, "I would be honored to help you raise _our_ child."

Lana allowed Clark to use her hands to draw her into his chest. She felt like a massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders by his simple pronouncement. _Our child, _she thought. _He said it so warmly, so lovingly…I couldn't ask for anything more._

Jor-El chose that moment to rejoin the 'party.'

"You have told her enough, Kal-El. You have done well." Unconsciously expecting to see a body to go with the voice, Lana took a quick look around, while Clark kept his nose buried in her strawberry-scented hair. "I now have two pieces of information for Miss Lang, _if_ she wants them."

Not having a face to focus on, Lana decided to look at the crystal console. "What information?"

"There are two pieces of information. First, I know something about your pregnancy. It's something you will learn in time on your own, but I think you would prefer to know it now. Second, if you wish, I will now do what my son wanted me to do earlier. I am offering to restore your memories of the lost day. Be warned, if you choose to remember, I must restore_ all_ of the memories. That will include the physical pain of your death."

Lana looked up at Clark as if looking for guidance.

"It's your choice, Lana. I can't help you here…but whatever you decide, know that I'll support you."

The question about whether or not she wanted to learn something about her baby was really no question at all. Of _course _she wanted to know, even if she had no idea how this disembodied voice could know anything at all about her pregnancy.

"Please," Lana asked, "if you know anything at all about my pregnancy, let me know."

"Do you want the information to be private? Or will you allow Kal-El to hear also?"

Lana looked lovingly up at Clark and smiled as she said, "This baby is just as much his as it is mine…let him hear it, too."

"As you desire," Jor-El said. There was a sadness in his voice that confused both Lana and Clark. "What I know about your pregnancy…is that there is no pregnancy."

"Huh?" Lana and Clark said in unison.

"You are not now, nor have you ever been, pregnant."

"No," Lana said, "That can't be true. I've been to the doctor many times. He says everything is normal."

"If this is your idea of a joke, Jor-El," Clark said angrily, "I don't appreciate it one bit."

"She is not pregnant. She thinks she is because she has been dosed with a synthetic hormone that simulates a pregnancy." Then, almost to himself, Jor-El added, "A rather inelegant approach, but I suppose it's the best these primitives can manage."

Neither Clark or Lana heard Jor-El's last sentence because Lana was in the process of falling apart and Clark was wholly focused on supporting her. The fact that she was going to be a mother had been the best part of the whole mess her life had become. And then the thought that she would be able to raise this child with the man she loved had been, for the brief moment it had lasted, more happiness than she thought she could bear. As usual, whenever Lana came close to being truly happy, the happiness was ruthlessly yanked away from her.

Lana's slight body was wracked with sobs. Inside her mind, she mourned the child that never was and then her thoughts shifted from sorrow to anger and from anger to rage. _Damn you, _she thought, _damn you, Lex Luthor._ _What did I ever do to deserve this from you? I tried so hard to love you, and yet, you responded with this!_

Clark had enfolded Lana in his arms even before she had accepted what Jor-El had to say and had begun to cry. The harder she cried, the closer Clark held her. The only thing he said was to whisper over and over, "_I_ love you. I _love_ you. I love _you. I…love…you!"_ He wasn't even sure if Lana was hearing him at that moment, but he whispered it every way possible as he did everything he could to support her in her hour of need.

It took a long while for Lana to adjust to the 'loss' of a child that had never been, but that had nonetheless become very real to her. After mostly regaining control of her emotions, her first coherent words were, "Did you know I had names picked out for our baby?" Clark shook his head hesitantly as he handed her a handkerchief for her snotty nose. She gave a mighty blow and two smaller ones and then said, "Well, I did. There were other names that would have been used had I married that _bald bastard," _Lana spat. "But even when I was with him, I would daydream about what names I could use if I was still with you."

"What names did you choose for our baby?" Clark asked.

"Either Lewis or Jonathan for a boy, and definitely Laura for a girl."

"Ah, to honor our dead parents."

"Yeah."

"Well, I bet you don't know that my birth mother's name was Lara, too. I don't know if it's spelled the same way, after all, she was Kryptonian, but I'll bet she would've been pleased with the name Laura just as much as I would've been."

Clark finally took a seat on one of the higher outcrops of crystal and ice, effortlessly picking Lana up and swinging her around so she sat sideways across his lap. _A very convenient height for kissing, _Clark thought. _I'll have to remember that._

"So," Clark said, "do you think you want to 'remember' the lost day right now? Or have you suffered enough?"

"I don't know," Lana said truthfully. "I'm afraid of knowing the pain of the wreck, even if it only will be a memory, but I desperately want to remember the rest of that day. I _need_ a happy memory right now."

"Take all the time you need, Lana," Clark said. "I'm here for you. This is all about what _you_ need."

If she was by herself, Lana would have wanted to wait. As strong as she had always thought she was, she didn't know if she could stand up to this on her own. But with Clark by her side, she knew she'd be able to lean on him for the extra endurance she'd need.

"Let's have it," she said quietly.

"Are you sure?" Clark wasn't sure she was emotionally ready, but he was done trying to make her decisions for her. All he wanted now was for her to know her own mind on this subject before allowing Jor-El to proceed.

"Not one-hundred percent," Lana admitted, "but I'll want to know eventually, and I might as well do it while I'm already a wreck."

Once again, they heard Jor-El say, "As you desire."

Clark watched helplessly as Lana's went into a trance and her face went from confused to worried to elated, back to confused and then to amazed. That was quickly followed by more confusion and then a look of excitement. The rest of her expressions revealed emotions he couldn't even guess at until the end, when her face was fixed in a rictus of pain. The whole transfer of memories took only a half a minute, but to Clark's anxious mind, it had taken half a lifetime.

When Lana came to, she had all of her lost memories back, the last of which was the mercifully brief wreck. The memories were fading, already acquiring the foggy texture that comes with time, but Lana was howling in agony.

Clark was of two minds when he heard Lana's pain. He reflexively wrapped her tighter, wanting to ease her suffering but feeling helpless despite all of his powers. On the other hand, he rejoiced to hear her suffering the after-effects of her wreck, because it meant she was _alive._

_The mental pain of losing her baby followed closely by the physical pain of dying, _Clark thought. _They say that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. If that's true, Lana's emotions can bench press a Buick by now._

"What a day I had," Lana said, in what might've been the understatement of her life. "You told me _everything!" _ Lana pulled back from Clark just enough to crane her neck upward as she tried to pick out the distant ledge where Clark had proposed. "And then, that _proposal!" _

Wanting to satisfy a long-held curiosity, Clark asked, "How'd you decide to say yes? When I left you after proposing that day, you seemed to have some real doubts."

"I went to the Talon because I had promised to help Lois decorate for the election night rally. She was up in the apartment when I got there, and she helped me sift through the unimportant stuff and realize that _you_ were what mattered." A radiance settled onto Lana's face. "Just like I said to you at your house, I realized you were the same handsome guy I'd always known…that's when I knew.

"You looked so scared when I strolled up the walk to your house, Clark."

"I_ was_ scared," Clark replied. "In fact, I was petrified."

"Poor baby," Lana said, as she stretched up to kiss Clark. "The things you've suffered for me."

After receiving the kiss, Clark said hopefully, "Oh, I've suffered a lot more than _that."_

"You wouldn't happen to need more kisses to make you feel better, would you?"

"Oh yes! Lots and lots."

Lana was happy to oblige, and she and Clark spent the next several minutes involved in some serious kissing.

Finally coming up for air, Lana asked, "What are we going to do now?"

Clark understood what she meant. "I don't know. We need to get you away from Lex. I'm _hoping _we can find a way to use your false pregnancy as leverage to keep him away from you."

"If we could just come up with some evidence, then we ought to be okay."

Jor-El rejoined the conversation one last time. "When you return home, a simple blood test will confirm what I have told you. Use that information as leverage on the medical professional who injected you, his testimony should be enough."

Grateful for his father's assistance, Clark added, "We'd better get the doc's testimony on tape though, in case Lex tries to kill him to save his own skin."

"Yeah," Lana agreed, "if we send Lex a tape, he'll know that killing the doc won't help him at all."

"Now," Clark said, "what do we do about Lex?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you break up with him, how long do we wait before we're publicly a couple again?"

"You think we should _wait _to allow _Lex_ to keep some dignity?" Clark knew the very idea made Lana mad because he could almost _see _tendrils of smoke curling out of her ears. "After the things he's done, he deserves no such courtesy. Once I tell him I'm leaving him and give him a copy of our evidence, I intend to drive straight over to your farm where you will be in charge of making me feel better after having to deal with him."

"I think I can handle that," Clark said, "as long as you're sure."

Leaning in for a last kiss, Lana said, "I'm sure."

THE END


End file.
